To forgive, to reconcile, or not

Last week in the N.T. class I teach at Malone University we had 60 minutes to survey Romans! :-( One advantage of being the teacher is that you get to choose what to emphasize. It reminds me of something I learned from Don Meyer, a basketball clinician whose system and philosophy I integrated while coaching: "It's not what you teach, it's what you emphasize." Sorry for the little flashback to days gone by. :-)

Anyway, assuming that most, if not all, students would be familiar with "... all have sinned ..." from chapter 3 I chose to start with 5:1-11 with a goal of having them considering the enemy love principle: "For if when we were God's enemies we were reconciled ..." I had hopes of introducing students not only to being forgiven and having new life but to consider a parallel teaching in II Corinthians 5:16-21 which instructs us that God gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

Well I never got to my "agenda"! What seemed to be a simple question became a mutually teachable moment. (One of my greatest joys as a Bible teacher is when the truth of Scripture exposes the reality of daily life.)

I suggested that forgiveness and reconciliation are not necessarily the same experience or response to the gospel message of Jesus. It is possible to forgive, a choice of the moment which we may repeat each day as we desire to live in love with or toward those who have wronged or hurt us. This in itself is a dynamic step of love which is not necessarily easy.

When we forgive we release, we give up the "right" of vengeance, the eye for eye philosophy. By releasing this "right" we also begin to release the anger, hate and control which being wronged can cause. Jesus insists that to be a follower is forgive.

Further I suggested that reconciliation is the ongoing commitment to be right and just in relationship with others. Finally I offered that while we always forgive sometimes reconciling seems impossible. (And this is just from the perspective of when we were the one offended or wronged!)

I was "surprised" at the authentic, vulnerable responses and questions. Some argued that there are situations when we've been so wronged that it is impossible to forgive let alone even consider any kind of reconciliation. One quote haunted me yet seems so real, "I don't want to be in the same country as ______!"

I quietly closed class with a reminder that forgiveness is the way of Jesus, it is the heart of God; and, reconciliation is the "new" life we are promised. We don't go back to the way it was, we strive for "new."

On my ride home my mind wandered and wondered. It seemed that for some the teaching of being a people who forgive was either something "new" or something that is simple, profoundly impossible because . . . I know full-well that sometimes forgiving is not what I want to do, nor can I say what I have always done.

Yet the words of Jesus remain, see Matthew 6: 12-15. What has the "church" (and those of us who teach and preach) done and taught that makes forgiving seem impossible or not required by some? What is forgiving I wondered?

This morning I sit humbled with the reality of lack of forgiveness and forgiving; the hope for reconciliation yet the reality of what must change to be reconciled . . .

Have mercy on my soul, mind, heart and strength Lord Jesus!