Goin' up to Bethlehem

We heard this song several times on The fish, 95.5. Obviously as a CCR fan this tune got my attention. [In the email reply - I asked for the song name/artist - they were guarded about endorsing Bob Rivers' music.]

Grandparenting fun

Advent 2009

Julie and I have set up our new Nativity set as we begin Advent 2009.

Last Christmas Julie's gift was the Willow Tree figurines nativity set.

Recently Henry built and painted the creche and Sunday we assembled the table to put the set on.

Julie added the finishing touches of lights and cloth.

"Come Lord Jesus!"

Thots on leaves

October through mid-November Julie and I enjoyed the God-created beauty of our "Autumn Glory" maple trees turning orange and red. A few times my mind has wondered about these glorious leaves; below is a simple poem entitled Autumn Leaves:

hiding
budding
perfect
patterned
giving
absorbing
releasing
weathered
waving
reaching
shade
transforming
rustling
releasing
dropping
covering
crunch
dried
gone

PS: As I compose this post our trees are now barren and "welcomed" the first snowflakes of winter 09-10.

Celebrating fall ..

One of the cool things about being "empty nesters" is time, energy and space for the creative spirit.

This has been particularly true for Julie! Recently her artsy right brain kicked in to create this display of our family over our archway.

Combining beads, gords, rope and pictures of our children and grandchildren she created this wonderful fall decor! Take note of the leaf outlines on each of the pics. Most of the pics are non-posed so a story or moment is told as we lovingly enjoy the display.

We are celebrating the wonder of our Creator God this fall!

Overdue!

A new post is overdue! Too often I am too tired to sit down and compose a post. A typical week for us ...

• Sunday - church, enjoying a few hours together, evening hours spent prepping for the week to come, and oh yes, checking my fantasy football teams [my sons and I each have two teams we manage in our family league]
• Monday - we both work and are up early, then its lesson preps, teaching, school stuff, teaching an evening class at Malone University, Bennett comes for the evening through Tuesday
  
• Tuesday - Julie is grandma!! Each week this is Bennett and some weeks Allie and/or Andrew come for part of the day, G-ma thoroughly enjoys her day and it is such a blessing to hear her talk about special moments, for Henry, see Monday without the evening class at Malone, in the evening our daily 3 mile walk [OK, we don't get the walk in each day ...]
• Wednesday - see Monday!
• Thursday - see Monday w/o evening class at Malone
• Friday - see Thursday
• Saturday - well there is always something to do!!

In the midst of all this we know and seek God's love ...

Our house is quiet, empty ... we are adjusting to and enjoying 'empty nest syndrome.' We are growing in our love and friendship with each other! :-)

Sweet, special times but way too short

Labor day weekend we traveled to Columbus Air Force Base to be with Kristi and Adam. Simply, sweet, special, surprising, but way too short -- yet such is life now that the "kids" (all 4+4+[3...]) are adults and on their ways. We really enjoyed our time together, several highlights:

• "official" tour of their home complete with Kristi hiding in the game closet and jumping out to scare Julie, the two of them had been scheming this moment for weeks and were not disappointed.
• the kids winning every card game - Skip-Bo and Euchre - and being very pleased ...
• Monday morning birthday breakfast: raspberry pancakes - Wow!
• meeting their friends ... simply a joy
  
• worship time Sunday morning @ www.mtvchurch.com
• walking 9 holes of golf - soon Kristi will beat her father in golf
• supper at Profits Porch - southern cooking ... red beans and rice, gumbo
• Prairie Arts Festival in West Point Saturday morning
• Waverly Mansion tour - learning the history of the region
• celebrating Kristi's birthday at The Grill
• learning that wax candles melt when you stick them in a hot freshly baked apple cake
  
• being guests in our children's home
  

Thank you Kristi and Adam for welcoming us into your home and lives ... we had a wonderful time with you.

PS: Yes, as we left Monday morning for the 815 mile trip home there were tears in our eyes ...

Daily Record "Newsmaker"

Recently I had the fun of being interviewed by Rachel Jackson of our local paper, The Daily Record, for a weekly feature called "Newsmaker." She did a great job taking the interview we had late June on our deck and writing it into an article for print. Enjoy the articles.

Like his plant life, Henry Beun is always growing
http://www.the-daily-record.com/news/article/4653662

20 questions
http://www.the-daily-record.com/news/article/4653631

As I re-enter the classroom teaching our school's Bible classes for high school students my hope is to be someone who invites students to "see" and be a disciple (learner and follower) of the Almighty God, Jesus the Christ and the Holy Spirit.

PS: If you need a login name and password for the 20 questions link please ask us through an email: hjbeun@zoominternet.net

Who's coaching or playing?

As I've been updating the schedule in my Palm handheld a significant change in our family's activities emerged: none of us are coaching or playing competitively in school arenas!

Children being on a ball teams has been part of our family routine since Brad started farm league in the mid 80's, soon Erik, Kyle and Kristi were on ball teams - these teams dictated our family schedule. Soon the children were playing competively in middle school, high school and college. Always, when making plans, their team schedules were very important in our schedules. More recently all three sons and daughter in law Lisa coached teams. Again, we tried to include their games or matches in our schedules.

Among the adjustments we are making is a change to the priorities in our schedules.

We will miss:

• encouraging our children in the athletic arena
• seeing the progress and improvement of their teams
• relishing the wonder of the competitive spirit (I believe it is God-given.)
• learning to know new people which has extended our network of relationships
• the anticipation and hope each new season brings
• creating new memories - all the surprises and unexpected moments

Our family has benefitted in so many ways from involvement in athletics. As we move into a new season of life (this doesn't preclude the probability that someone in the family will be coaching in the future) we look forward to the new opportunities we will have because our schedule is not dictated by sports commitments.

PS: To those of you in the midst of hectic family schedules which include athletics - enjoy these times!

Celebrating!

Bennett turned one August 7, Brad and Kelly hosted an open house Sunday. We had a wonderful time celebrating! We celebrate God's grace evident in the gift of life and family.

july tuesdays w/gma

We have enjoyed the grandchildren this month on Tuesdays! This week we visited Rolling Ridge Ranch near Berlin with Allie and Bennett - the girls were great. While a little wary at times of the animals they never shirked back with fear.

Berlin or bust

One of my goals this summer, which I was somewhat foolishly verbalized (suddenly there is accountability), was to ride my bicycle from home to Erik, Laura, Allie and Andrew's home. Just 15 miles I thought; and I even believed I could make it a round trip. Today was the day!

I left at 7:45 with a simple text message to Erik: Berlin or bust; his reply: "OK. good luck." What did he know that I didn't know?

The first four miles, Berg Rd and Moreland Rd, were uneventful, relatively flat riding. As I pedalled along my mind wandered in prayer for our friend Lois B having surgery to remove the cancer she has been battling for over 6 months. I moved in and out of prayer extending my prayer focus to my colleague Paul G who is seeing a pulmonologist tomorrow, friend Ellen N who unexpectedly had a friend die early this week. Family members, our school, ... my prayer list continued; yet I kept coming back to health - prayers for healing, strength, persevering spirit, peace ...

I turned on Mt Hope Rd; Oh this is what Erik knew! As I climbed the first long hill I shifted down to quickly and my chain came off. This was a humbling lesson on anticipating what gears I would need to downshift to ahead of time so the bike could easily shift. A short stop to "fix" my problem and a few swigs from my water bottle - back on the saddle to finish the climb. Encountering a series of hills - I enjoyed the rush of going down hitting 35 MPH while enduring the 5 MPH grind going uphill.

It was on one of these grinds that I realized I was healthy, quite capable of completing this personal bike challenge only because I am healthy! I prayed with thanksgiving enjoying this moment with realization of the grace of good health I was enjoying. Thank you God!

The ride on 241 into Mt Hope was uneventful and I turned on to Twp 362 for the finale leg of the trip. Wow, the hills were a challenge nearly causing me to reach into my pocket and call Erik to come and get me. But, my ego, pride, determination and good health kicked in. At the top of one hill I took in the spectacular view while finishing my water; I was also gasping for air and heard the voice of Kristi reminding me to pay attention to what my body was telling me. My legs were tiring, I panted hard and my orange t-shirt was drenched with sweat.

The final hill into Berlin did me in; I couldn't pedal any longer. Admitting my weakness and lack of training I trudged up the hill on two feet with both hands gripping the handlebars as I passed the water tower. As the street flattened I finished the trip to the Beun home on Maple St in Berlin. It was all quiet, for that I was glad as I breathed deeply to regroup. A quick call to Julie at work; she greeted me with a confident yet relieved voice, "You made it!"

Soon Allie and Laura greeted me, I enjoyed the glass of ice water Laura had promised she would have for me, took Allie to the playground and asked Erik to drive me back to Kidron. I accomplished a goal and for that I rejoiced. It was a beautiful ride; and, yes I will do it again for both the challenge as well as the quiet time while exerting myself physically.

Today it was berlin or bust ... actually, I will humbly enjoy the good health and strength I have for this day!

Every little bit helps!

Every little bit helps!

During a conversation with Alma, leader of the family group of 52 people I was with as driver for Pioneer Trails, this phrase became a word of encouragement, a word of instruction, and, a reminder as my mind wondered and wandered ...

Alma had inquired about my history as a driver for Pioneer Trails, a charter bus service of out Millersburg. I told her I was a very part-time driver, this was my 2^nd trip of the summer, and, I had not driven at all the past three years because of my school administrative schedule other than several trips for school purposes. I had hooked up with Pioneer Trails seven years ago in an effort to pay my way through the masters degree program I was entering at Malone University. During the summer and occasional Saturday trips I earned enough to put myself through graduate school. Praise the Lord!

And , I told her, now that I am no longer a school administrator, aving just helped two of our children move, and having just “married off” our daughter, we have a “few” extra bills which do have to be paid. She smiled: yes weddings do cost money! :-)

"Every little bit helps!" she observed with her Dutchy accent. :-)

On the drive back from Cincinnati I wondered about this truism. It is tempting to only pursue and commit to the big difference makers; so, shouldn’t I just play the lottery, so to speak, and hope to win the jackpot to pay off the extra bills? Or, I’ll wait until the obvious big difference maker comes along; in the meantime missing all the “little bits.” Or, I've only had a good round of golf when my nine hole score is less than my age. :-(

NO, each day is another opportunity to make a little-bitty difference wherever we are – so we choose to get out of bed and do our little bit…

Maybe this is what Jesus is teaching ...

• when he gave value to the poor widow and her two coins (Luke 21:1-4); or,
• when he compares the Kingdom of Heaven with a mustard seed (Matthew 13:31; or,
• when he encourages faith the size of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20-21).

Every little bit helps!

18 holes

One of the things I enjoy with my sons is golf! After breakfast at Bob Evans the four of us played 18 holes at Tam O Shanter in nearby Canton. I was particularly pleased as I shot my best 9 hole score ever (48) as well as overall score for 18 (106). The game is fun when you can be consistent!

Final scores for the boys: Erik 92, Brad 98 and Kyle 100. Yes, as usual Dad finished with the high score although I had low score on four different holes.

I am thankful that we can enjoy this recreational activity as family. Last week Erik and I golfed with Adam on the Columbus AFB course and this weekend Brad and I hope to get some golf in with Kyle while we are in Wichita helping Kyle and Lisa settle in.

(click on the picture to enlarge image)

Noticed by the Almighty

At times I wonder whether God notices ... whether he cares ... desperate for reassurance of His love and presence I quietly cried out. My heart, mind, soul and body ached with "emptiness." The inevitable moment was near: "good-bye Kristi." And then it happened ...

We were at 7113B Capitol Ave, Columbus AFB, MS 39705. It had been a long day of travel, unloading the trailer, carrying furnishings into Kristi and Adam's house and helping in any way possible to set up this new home. As long as my mind was occupied with the tasks at hand I was OK.

After a very welcome cool shower, I sat on the couch watching Kristi, Julie, Adam and two of his buddies still working. As I gazed around the house I felt it ... the inevitable emptiness only parents know as their children leave home for the final time. Quietly I said good-night and retreated to the "guest room."

As I lay in bed the quietness weighed heavy on my body and mind. A few tears later I whispered to God describing the ache I was feeling and asking for His Spirit to quiet my racing, crying mind. Suddenly I remembered that earlier in the day Kristi had sent a text message instructing me to turn the radio to 104.5 when we neared Columbus. So I reached for my mp3 player and tuned to 104.5 (funny moment: it was already set to 104.5 since that is the station at home I listen to for Cleveland Indians baseball games).

He will carry me by Mark Schulz was playing ... I found the reassurance I longed for at the moment. I fell asleep and slept about as good as one can considering. I am humbled, encouraged, thankful and empowered with the reality of being noticed and cared for by the Almighty One.

Oh, it is still difficult, there have been a few tears, and, I do feel so empty, however, God's love will carry me.

PS: Next weekend Julie and I say good-bye to Kyle and Lisa as they move from nearby North Canton to their new home near Wichita, KS! Last night we helped them box up stuff at the apartment, driving home that "emptiness" was on my mind again. Thank you God for loving on me, noticing me, during these days with He will carry me.

He will carry me, by Mark Schulz, album: Stories and Songs

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

chorus

Bridal Party, Kurzens & Beuns

click on pic to enlarge

Adam and Kristi Kurzen

click on a pic to enlarge

No regrets ...!

As parents in the midst of "releasing" our daughter to create her own home with Adam we take a moment to look back in the rear view mirror of life and smile with contentment and joy. This post is a counter-balance to an earlier post with thots on if we had to do it over I listed regrets I have as a dad. Today, I begin to list "no regrets" with the full expectation of adding to it over the next several weeks. I suspect that Friday's wedding will stir emotions, feelings and reflections for days and weeks to come.

Kristi, we have no regrets ...

• your safe arrival into our family 9/7/86 (enough said)
  
• violin lessons (starting with the toy sweeper handle)
• letting your brothers tickle torture you, lovingly tease you, teaching you to drive after church (without our knowledge), and countless other ways they "loved" on you
• releasing you to Living Water so your heart's desire of growing in living and active faith could be met
  
• hanging up your basketball shoes after 9th grade
• 4 years of volleyball at Malone, especially with not talking you out of playing your senior year (not an easy time, but you finished!)
• allowing your boyfriend situations to work themselves out (you demonstrated your ability to make choices which honor your faith commitment)
• laughing and teasing you over the many contorted ways you could sit on the couch
• your wedding in our backyard :-)
• 
  

We will shed a few tears this Friday and in the days to come because we are well-pleased with who Kristi has become as a young woman. Life is not a carefully lived blueprint rather it is the dynamic interplay of choices and responses to all the good, challenges, blessing and disappointments we continue to make. II Peter 1:3-11 is an important word of encouragement and instructions for us as we increase in faith and faithfulness to the way of Jesus.

PS: I wonder ... as children of God, what "no regrets" does God have as he watches us journey through life? Once again I celebrate God's grace with us and desire to live in that grace with others.

Chandler gets ready

Prepping for Kristi and Adam's big day is in full swing. Today Chandler enjoyed his bath, I know he is hoping to be included in the wedding. (NOT!) He's such a big baby and loves attention!

"Mores..."

As the countdown nears single digits I've been thinking alot about life beyond having our children under our roof. Since April 26, 1979 Julie and I have had children tucked in bed -- that's 30+ years of the focus of our life being children, eventually four. Today these four babies are adults and we are well-pleased with each of them! They have made many great choices (including their life partners) and our love for them continues to increase as our family size continues to increase.

Occasionally my mind drifts to earlier years as a dad -- I admit I have some regrets. Is it possible to have a "do-over"? If I were to do the dad thing all over ... So I started scribbling a list for myself as I reflected on the nearly 23 years of being Kristi's dad. I shared these with Kristi realizing that my perfectionism may be at the core of my regrets. Later this week I will write another post entitled "no regrets." :-)

So, dear Kristi, If I could go back in time I would have ...

• read you more stories, tucked you in bed more often, prayed with you more often and watched you fall asleep
  
• jumped on the trampoline with you, run through the sprinkler with you and tossed water balloons with and at you
  
• kissed you on the cheek much more often and embraced you with hugs more
  
• have listened more, talked less, asked more faith and discipleship questions after SS, VBS, church and school and given less "answers" so as to encourage you to wonder more
• danced with you - of course I would have needed you to teach me
• had you drive the Corsica longer
• kept the angora goats longer
• caught your softball pitches more often
• taught you to shoot the basketball
• given you a regular allowance
• rubbed and massaged your feet
• camped and slept under the stars in our back yard with you and your brothers
• refused to turn the TV on to watch the Tribe, Browns, sitcoms, news, etc. instead discovering you
• learned to roller-blade
• taken you golfing
• sat with you more when grandpa, Mr Grim, Janine and aunt Deb died
• biked with you more
  
• talked about faith, beliefs and practices more
  
• trusted you more
• asked you to pray at meal times
• sat with you when you did your homework

Kristi - I love you, as I say good-bye to your childhood, I do have a few regrets; yet God has provided for you, and I, in amazing ways. I think you are pretty awesome - you will always be my "little girl" ... God's grace and your kindness have overcome my regrets!

poetry on the Bible

One assignment the seniors completed in the Kingdom Living class I teach was an essay reflecting on what they believe about the Bible. Two, Nikita and Shannon turned in poetry, I share it as a celebration of their writing gift, affirmation of God's Word and praise for their faithfulness.

a reason to believe
by Nikita Zook

speak to me
he speaks to me
through pages typed and spaced
a hope for all eternity

word of God
breathe in the word of God
read of what you should live for
and stay close to his heart

believe in the word
it's perfect but it's real
some things won't make sense
but it's what we need for our souls

take your time
reach for God with your eyes
the words could be the answer
he'll speak from each page

Living in Color
by Shannon Neuenschwander

black words on white pages
answers seem grey
red jumps out - a dimension!
spoken by Hope and Love

letters fly off the paper
floating upward, singing out
bringing peace, joy
in the hopelessness
lighting a candle in the darkness

learn to see the world in color
rather than endlessly searching
for black or white

teach us to trust
as we learn to live

A father's question

What a blessing to watch our little girl receive her diploma from Malone University's Dr. Streit! Obviously a moment mom and dad were well-pleased.

As I settled back into my seat I realized (again) she is grown up (growing up is the word I would prefer to use). Where had all the years gone?

It seemed just a few days earlier we had moved her into Woolman dorm! :-/

In a month she commits, in love and faithfulness, to a lifelong journey with Adam! :-;

These days I seek an answer to a question many other fathers no doubt have asked: why?

William Young in The Shack expressed my sentiments of the morning or, better, these days: "This is one of those rare and precious moments, thought Mack, that catches you by surprise and almost takes your breath away ... He shifted Missy's weight to a more comfortable position for her, now that she was totally out, and pulled back the hair from her face to look at her. The grime and sweat of the day had done nothing but strangely enhance her innocence and beauty. Why do they have to grow up? he mused and kissed her on the forehead." (pg 38)

As I continue preparing for June 12 and beyond I will joyfully wonder why my little girl ...

And, I will fearfully wonder, does God ask this question about his children ...

Trumped at 3:15 Fridays

Several months ago I mentioned to Von a need to laugh, de-stress and play in my office. He replied, "that's a easy problem to solve! A little euchre, a little music and "no" to serious stuff for a few minutes weekly."

So, Fridays, 3;15, Von, Bob, Michael and I have an "appointment" in my office. Thanks to pandora.com, the tunes of CCR, Creedance Clearwater Revival - for those to young to remember - fill the room transforming us: laughter, meaningless banter and an occasional "serious" moment move us into a brotherhood. The cards are dealt - only one game to 10 - and competitive spirits create an energy in the room. Outbursts of frustration when one is set, a partner didn't have the card counted on or when a fistful of black cards are meaningless because hearts or diamonds are trump erupt spontaneously. Unbridled glee when one makes it having weighed the risk or when the partner unexpectedly takes two or more of the ricks become macho moments of "chest thumping." Surprisingly a game to 10 takes 20-45 minutes! Bottom line - Fridays 3:15 have become a favorite for each of us.

On a dreary, rainy, Monday morning I am thankful for my friends who set aside time to "minister" to one 10-15 years older. I may grumble when Michael and Bob win or smugly say, "see ya next week" when Von and I win; however, regardless the final outcome, these few moments bring a smile throughout the week and are a blessing to me beyond what these three will ever know. My short-coming, my sin is self-importance. These three friends push me to get beyond myself by dealing the cards and making the best of whatever I'm dealt. While I emjoy "winning" - another of my short-comings / sin is an over-zealous competitive nature - I am learning to enjoy more and more the anticipation of each card played. Simply: fun! Thanks men for being my friends because I know your children are waiting outside my office door for their dads, they deserve you more than I.

So, three cheers to play and laughter on Friday afternoons!

PS: Von and I lead the series 4-2! :-)

Jesus is alive, present and powerful

Here is a link on NPR entitled "An American Passion," I invite you to watch the picture show, reflect and post/email any comments. I'm struck by Vergara's (photographer) comment that God is present in the city and powerful.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2009/04/an_american_passion.html

As a country boy I often default to "seeing" God in nature which may be saying one must leave the city to find God. Instead Vergara challenges me with the images of Christ Jesus passion week discovered in the city. As a country boy I may have a "fear" of the city and urban life. Instead Vergara, discovers God (overcoming fear) in the city.

This morning I read the Luke and John accounts of Jesus' resurrection and appearing to his disciples and friends. Hmm, that happened in and near the city Jerusalem! Jesus is alive, Jesus is present, Jesus is powerful (in a humble, gentle, non-violent sort of way).

May you greet Christ Jesus, the Almighty God this Easter Sunday.

PS: I look at the spring flowers waiting to burst out of their tombs of cold winter proclaiming the resurrection story with their brilliant colors and aromas and celebrate the Creator God who gives life, renews life and brings from the "dead" in surprising unbelievable ways.

A tribute to parenting

A tribute to the parents our children are becoming!

PS: Just so you all know that I don't spend hours surfing for wonderful stuff like this - I heard this on The Fish, 95.5

What?? No pictures??

The wedding invitations are made!

Kristi designed her wedding invitations using ideas from different ones we've received and the unending options detailed in magazines. While the initial motivation may have been $$$ . . . the reward and "savings" has been memories of she, Julie and others designing, making changes and then committing to the final project.

Friday and Saturday evening a few friends and family gathered to assemble 225 invites. Thanks Mary, Lisa, Alyssa, Sharon and Carmen for using your gifts and sharing your love with us.

My only regret is that the camera, which was intentionally set out to capture a few moments, was never used. (I think that was my (dad) job). So we have no pictures to tell the stories of assembling and give a preview of the invitations. However, we have in our hearts and minds the joy of working together along with the pleasure of the completed project. As I watched, and I was truly an outsider to this project (for good reason), the love, joy and friendship these women shared was a great encouragement.

Now it is on to labels, addressing and postage! :-)

PS: we do have an official photographer for June 12. :-)

To forgive, to reconcile, or not

Last week in the N.T. class I teach at Malone University we had 60 minutes to survey Romans! :-( One advantage of being the teacher is that you get to choose what to emphasize. It reminds me of something I learned from Don Meyer, a basketball clinician whose system and philosophy I integrated while coaching: "It's not what you teach, it's what you emphasize." Sorry for the little flashback to days gone by. :-)

Anyway, assuming that most, if not all, students would be familiar with "... all have sinned ..." from chapter 3 I chose to start with 5:1-11 with a goal of having them considering the enemy love principle: "For if when we were God's enemies we were reconciled ..." I had hopes of introducing students not only to being forgiven and having new life but to consider a parallel teaching in II Corinthians 5:16-21 which instructs us that God gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

Well I never got to my "agenda"! What seemed to be a simple question became a mutually teachable moment. (One of my greatest joys as a Bible teacher is when the truth of Scripture exposes the reality of daily life.)

I suggested that forgiveness and reconciliation are not necessarily the same experience or response to the gospel message of Jesus. It is possible to forgive, a choice of the moment which we may repeat each day as we desire to live in love with or toward those who have wronged or hurt us. This in itself is a dynamic step of love which is not necessarily easy.

When we forgive we release, we give up the "right" of vengeance, the eye for eye philosophy. By releasing this "right" we also begin to release the anger, hate and control which being wronged can cause. Jesus insists that to be a follower is forgive.

Further I suggested that reconciliation is the ongoing commitment to be right and just in relationship with others. Finally I offered that while we always forgive sometimes reconciling seems impossible. (And this is just from the perspective of when we were the one offended or wronged!)

I was "surprised" at the authentic, vulnerable responses and questions. Some argued that there are situations when we've been so wronged that it is impossible to forgive let alone even consider any kind of reconciliation. One quote haunted me yet seems so real, "I don't want to be in the same country as ______!"

I quietly closed class with a reminder that forgiveness is the way of Jesus, it is the heart of God; and, reconciliation is the "new" life we are promised. We don't go back to the way it was, we strive for "new."

On my ride home my mind wandered and wondered. It seemed that for some the teaching of being a people who forgive was either something "new" or something that is simple, profoundly impossible because . . . I know full-well that sometimes forgiving is not what I want to do, nor can I say what I have always done.

Yet the words of Jesus remain, see Matthew 6: 12-15. What has the "church" (and those of us who teach and preach) done and taught that makes forgiving seem impossible or not required by some? What is forgiving I wondered?

This morning I sit humbled with the reality of lack of forgiveness and forgiving; the hope for reconciliation yet the reality of what must change to be reconciled . . .

Have mercy on my soul, mind, heart and strength Lord Jesus!

Cruise memories

The poem below us an attempt to share some of what we experienced on our cruise. A little context first. One concern on a ship is motion sickness caused by the constant rocking of the ship in the ocean. While noticeable it didn't really bother us. On deck early Sunday morning while enjoying fresh coffee, sunshine and warm ocean breezes I started writing a poem to capture my experience. I finished the poem here at home.

Morning Coffee on Deck

swaying, gently rocking
tipping side to side
balance impossible
longing for stillness
the rhythms of the sea

leaning side to side
always moving
movement unending
yearning for stillness
captured by the rhythms of the sea

a bit queasy so looking for land
desire to fight it, resist it
my own balance I prefer
letting go as stillness nears
embraced by the rhythms of the sea

trust it
losing self
resting in the caress
safe in the embrace
stilled by the rhythms of the sea

Gone to rest and enjoy ...

We are on our way ... vacation some call it I guess. It seems strange to leave during the school year but we have no choice - the cruise is scheduled for Feb 21-28, so here we go. We leave with thankfulness to Julie's siblings at Home Appliance who have made this trip possible. The cruise is a perk from doing business with one of the store's suppliers. To surf for info on our cruise go to www.windstarcruises.com. We are on a "windstar" ship and are on the Costa Rica cruise.

We don't know what to expect, we have no preconceived ideas of what we're getting into and we don't know anyone else on board. We know we will be together, we know we will have opportunity to slow down - beyond that ... we shall see. We are excited, we are anxious, we are packed ...

There will be no posting while we are away. We are on vacation ...

Forever young

Joel 2:28-29 was the text for my sermon at Smithville MC, entitled Dream Dreams. The prophet is describing what occurs when the Spirit of God is poured out. The apostle Peter used this text to explain to the onlookers what was occurring at Pentecost.

In preparation I was particularly struck by the phrase "your old men will dream dreams." Why does the prophet emphasize the old will dream dreams? This thot led me to consider the reality of the loss of not only dreams but the actual ability and willingness to dream. Consider the poem “Ghosts of Dreams by William Herbert Carruth:

We are all of us dreamers of dreams,

On visions our childhood is fed;

And the heart of a child is unhaunted, it seems,

By ghosts of dreams that are dead.

From childhood to youth's but a span,

And the years of our life are soon sped;

But the youth is no longer a youth, but a man,

When the first of his dreams is dead.

'Tis a cup of wormwood and gall,

When the doom of a great man is said;

And the best of a man is under a pall

When the best of his dreams is dead.

He may live on by compact and plan

When the fine bloom of living is shed,

But God pity the little that's left of a man

When most of his dreams are dead.

Let him show a brave face if he can;

Let him woo fame and fortune instead;

Yet there's not much to do, but to bury a man

When the last of his dreams is dead.

One focus in the sermon was consideration of why we quit dreaming of what could be. I settled on the image of becoming "old" way to soon which leaves us dreamless. This is not an age specific comment. What causes this loss, becoming too old in our spirit to imagine, dream and commit to the possibilities? I'll leave that for you to consider and mull over because I want to get to the good news of Joel's prophecy!

I hope for an outpouring of God's Spirit on anyone who reads this blog ... may you dream dreams because of the Holy Spirit and your unwavering belief and hope in Jesus. May you and I be "forever young" ...

A Tuesday of love

Today Julie and the girls celebrated Valentines Day.

Allie decorated four boxes and filled them with mini-cheesecakes and jello hearts. Julie told Allie of two of our friends on a journey with cancer. Throughout the day Allie talked of Lois and Anna expressing a simple faith of God's love for them and that He would make them better. She emphatically stated "these boxes will make them happy." Bennett wanted to be close to the action and was most content when she could see Allie at work.

if you click on the collage you can enlarge the pictures

Henry surprised the girls by coming home for lunch and enjoyed a bowl of soup with Allie while Bennett napped. Later in the afternoon Kristi joined the threesome to deliver the box of love.

PS: Allie and Bennett parent's also enjoyed a box.

Tuesdays with Grandma

Allie and Bennett spend Tuesdays with grandma!
Typically Bennett comes Monday evening and Allie early Tuesday morning.
A few snapshots in the collage of

• finger painting
• making snow cookies
• cousins chatting
• look at me moments (OK that's actually going on all day) :-)
  
• picture making with stickers
• smiles
• grandma I love you

At day's end grandma is contentedly tired!

If you click on a picture it will enlarge.

because of Jesus I dream ...

I'm "working" on my next sermon and could use your insights, threads of thots and suggestions.

A simple question: What does your belief in Jesus cause you to dream about?

I invite any responses ...

Keep shining for Jesus!

Thanks Michael!

Last weekend Kristi and I were with her fiancee Adam at the Columbus AFB in Mississippi. Sunday evening we were invited for supper with one of Adam and Kristi's new friends, Michael and Lindsay Lewis. It was a delight to be in the Lewis home - we enjoyed salad, pasta, cobbler and get-acquainted conversation. Stories from our families brought laughter and bonding.

After supper several additional friends of Adam, Michael and Lindsay came to play games. I still chuckle as I think of this 53 year old playing Catch Phrase with these 22-25 year olds. :-) The generation gap was subtly obvious (at least to me) but joy increased as I observed community and "family" emerging among young adults who were strangers except for what they had in common:

• officers - 2nd Lieutenants - and spouses in the Air Force and in the first phase of their training
• a love and passion for God and desire for this to be #1 in daily life.

As I excused myself, partly so there would be an even number of people ... mostly because I needed a quiet walk to talk with God and hope for his whisper back, Michael gave me a parting blessing I will not forget: Keep shining for Jesus!

(I had wanted to walk, pray and be in silence as I am in the midst of learning (again!) to accept and honor the reality that as Christians we are not out of the same cookie mold. The diversity of theological understandings, practical discipleship and passionate convictions of living out the Christian walk never ceases to amaze me; yet at times, I find myself in a stupor of confusion. Plus as a dad, the reality of releasing my daughter whom I am deeply fond of - a tear comes to my eye as I write this - to a young Christian man I admire and a life unknown to me is creating a cacophony of thots and feelings.)

I hoped Michael's parting shot Keep shining for Jesus! affirmed the desire of my heart and mind to let my actions give evidence of my understanding of being a follower of Jesus had been evident during the round of golf, dinner and fellowship we had shared.

The irony of this military officer (Michael) blessing this pacifist (me) with Keep shining for Jesus! caused me to laugh as I walked. Did he know what I have believed and taught for years? It didn't matter to me ... and today I'm laying this paradox at the cross fully knowing I will also continue to walk in this paradox and tension.

Michael's Keep shining for Jesus! has challenged me to speak and act for Jesus each day ... most often this will be in the unexpected encounters and interactions with people. His blessing renews my determination to include faith in my walk and talk.

Thank you Michael for shining for Jesus! Your words were a needed blessing, challenge and encouragement. Thanks for providing a framework of our purpose as Christians for our short time here on earth.

PS: This dad has fully blessed Kristi and Adam's commitment to a lifelong love, friendship and honoring Jesus together each day!

Beyond cold!

I thought I would brave the elements this morning at 7 am to plow our driveway. Call me a wimp but -10 with a westerly wind was a rude awakening to the day. Chandler, our lab, wasn't even excited about running around the house while I worked outside.

It is so cold this morning my hands quickly started tingling. After 15 minutes I hustled back inside ... are any of you familiar with that sensation when your fingers regain normal body temperature ... let's just say it was enough to make a grown man do a weird dance and cry!

Today Kristi and I travel to the Columbus AFB in Mississippi to see Adam and for the two of them to make some plans for life after June 12. While a little anxious for our flight I look forward to being with Adam on his turf.

So suddenly I have this stray thot: God came, and comes, to our turf!

No more ice cream!?

Yesterday I finished off two boxes of our holiday ice cream! Relax, I used a small dessert bowl and there was just one ice cream scoop sized dip of in each box. What's Christmas without Peppermint Stick and Candy Cane ice cream!!?? The delectable taste was thoroughly enjoyable, I savored each spoonful as our grand-daughter Allie played in the living room.

This morning I had a reality check: no more ice cream (at least not the seasonal flavors we've come to enjoy) ... it was a symbolic gesture that the holiday season is officially over. Is it over? What does it mean that the Christmas season is over?

• Will there be no more special foods (the comforting flavor of peppernutten dissolving on my tongue ...) to enjoy and tempt me?
• Will the "joy" we express by being friendlier be boxed up and placed in storage for 11 months?
• Will the priority of family time take a back seat to the demands, expectations and stresses of the job?
• Will the slower pace with time for reflection and rest disappear quickly like the beautiful wrapping on gifts?
• Will the wonder of God's love - coming to his creation as one of his created - slide to the back of my mind?
• Will the nagging reality (and some guilt) of broken relationships which haunt me at Christmas time and keep me from complete joy leading me to consider the difficult yet sweet work of reconciliation disappear like the last spoon of ice cream?
• Will the opportunity for spontaneity be replaced with the mundane routines of each day?
• Will generosity and the joy of giving extra to others disappear and a return to self-survival return?
• Will grand-children running, singing, sleeping, crying, disappear from my week?
• Will my tendency, my sin, of self-centeredness take the place of seeing others first?
• Will worship of our Redeemer, our Way of Life, Jesus continue with the needed creativity and freedom as we celebrate a familiar story (at least we'd like to believe we know it so well)?
• Will I still hold the hand of my friend? Will I still freely hug?
  

So, next trip to the grocery store I'm looking for the seasonal flavors of ice cream. I won't find peppermint stick ... but are there any presidential inauguration flavors, how about MLK flavors, OK I may have to wait until February 14th! Until then ... I resolve to keep the Christmas spirit!

Our family Christmas

We welcome Andrew

This collage includes several pics from the hospital with our grandchildren Allie, Bennett and Andrew and their parents. I couldn't resist the two cute pics of Bennett after her bath this morning at our house. Our grandchildren are blessed to have loving parents, we praise the Lord God for this.

This evening the Beun household in Berlin is a family of four as Laura and Andrew came home!

If you click anywhere on the collage you can enlarge the pictures!