Sunday, July 20, 2008

Pure joy - a journey, a quest

For a few moments, June 14, around 9:00pm, I saw joy in its pure form!

As Kristi and Adam shared their "next step" (engagement) with us, present in the room, and others, calling long-distance, I was witness to joy without all that may attempt to restrain, constrain or strain it. Their joy could not be contained, it impacted those of us privileged to be in the moment with them.

Joy at its best and purest form is ... well I've been wondering about that quite a bit this past month. Years ago I "claimed" Philippians as my favorite Bible book -- see I need the constant instruction as a believer in Jesus of "joy ... rejoice:"
  • I always pray with joy 1:4
  • then make my joy complete 2:2
  • I am glad and rejoice 2:17-18
  • rejoice in the Lord 3:1
  • rejoice 4:4-7
  • I rejoice greatly in the Lord 4:10
  • I have learned to be content 4:11
For me, joy doesn't come easy. I fear after a few minutes (OK I'll be generous - several hours, the next day) I squashed Kristi and Adam's joy. How you might ask ... OK, even if you aren't asking, I'll tell you.

The next day I started thinking about how life would change because of their choice to marry. Ah, there lay one obstacle to joy: "I!" When I view life from my narrow, self-centered, limited and selfish vantage point - joy is out of reach. Only when I embrace God's grace in how I think about self and others can pure joy take residence in my soul, mind and life.

Then I allowed fear to set in, see the reality that I must embrace is that Kristi is leaving me to start a shared life with Adam. I should be thrilled (and most moments I am) for her, but the fear of the unknowns as she joins her life's goals, ambitions, dreams and faith commitment with Adam's, cast a cloud of feelings I haven't quite labeled yet. What I'm learning about my struggle with living in joy is that fears can quickly distill, pollute and taint the wonder of joy. John wrote, "there is no fear in love." (I John 4:18) Knowing/living in God's love releases fear and allows me to see joy; loving Kristi (and Adam) in heart, mind and life, permits me to embrace and integrate their joy.

I will always cherish the evening of June 14 when Adam proposed, Kristi accepted and they came down from their mountaintop (quite literally) and shared their joy with us -- I experienced pure joy that evening ... for that gift I will be forever thankful and joyful. While for them it was a beginning and next step; for me it was humbling, instructive, and I hope transforming, and oh it was joyful!

How do you nurture and embrace joy?

3 comments:

  1. Congratulations Ti-Ti! Thanks so much for calling us with the wonderful news! It was great to hear from you. Is it possible YOU were MY flowergirl?!?!?! Man, now I feel VERY OLD! Thanks a lot! Hope you're having a great summer! I miss you!
    Love~Aunt Jyl

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  2. Thanks for writing this Henry, I appreciate it

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  3. Henry and Julie,
    Congrats on this and tell Kristi congrats from me. And yes, Coach, we are still running the 4 out 1 in motion game. Didn't see a basketball post so I thought I'd include that in my congratulations to both of you and Kristi and Adam.

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